Good Morning! Happy New Year! Happy New Day! I hope that you are well today!
We are talking a ton about resolutions. We each have a motherload of things that we could improve upon. My list easily being the longest! Bad habits to break and new habits to gain. My number one and possibly my only real resolution this year is to spend more time reading and learning. I need wisdom more than I need anything else on this planet. As it goes, the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know.
Last night we were with some friends to celebrate the new year. As they often do, my kiddos leave me humble and beginning for Mercy and Wisdom. I'm trying to decide which I should share....When someone asked my boy about his age and he responded with his age and "Well DUUUUUH" or when one of my girls was told time and time again to put a lid on her sticky drink and kept refusing to do it. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
This morning I woke up and read, "Discipline your children; you'll be glad you did-- they'll turn out delightful to live with." and "Pride lands you flat on your face; humility prepares for honors" and "The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that." All from the 29th book of Proverbs.
Which is why I'm back here writing today.
I tend to have unrealistic expectations of these kiddos. I want them to just go ahead and know how to act at home and when we take them out. But they don't. They are learning. The same kiddo who tried to refuse her lid was an angel to her sister when shopping the day before. The lady working in the store commented about how she couldn't believe how sweet she was to her tantruming younger sister. I was thinking, yeah....truth be told, she's being a lot sweeter than I even want to be with her at times.
Motherhood is filled with highs and lows. As soon as I think were getting somewhere, BOOM! We get knocked right back down to reality that we have plenty of training left to do. Plenty of learning still on the part of the adults and kids in this house.
This morning we talked about how you don't say "DUH" to people. How it implies that the other person is not wise or dumb. We talked about respecting other people's homes and rules. How we should respect other people's property and wishes. About listening to grown-up's rules even when you don't quite understand them yet. "Even though we trust you with a full cup of soda pop, other little kids are running all over the place and putting a lid on your cup when asked could save someone from sticky wet clothes and sticky wet floors and just a mess in general." I could see as I was talking to her the light bulbs turning on. The, Oh! I didn't even think of that! wheels were spinning in her mind. I see it in her because that's the exact same way I feel every time I read or learn a new/different way. When I get outside of my small bubble of thinking.
It's kind of crazy how we get this job to raise kids while we are still growing up ourselves!
I quickly realized as I was talking to her that she has the exact same problem as me; I tend to be stubborn in my own beliefs based on the knowledge that I have, and forget that there is a much bigger picture. I have often failed to trust God and his plans for me because I could only see my little part in the the here and now. I forget that He sees the whole picture. I often forget to trust, just as my girl did with me.
I write all of this just to say, if you've got an imperfect bunch like me, it's okay. If you're an imperfect momma like me, that's okay too. In hind sight, I think of how I could have and should have handled each child in each situation a little differently. But, I have Grace upon Grace for my kiddos and myself. I'm not angry with them today. I'm not going to sit in regret for myself. Instead, we want to use our flaws as opportunities to grow and learn. To increase our need for wisdom and faith and trust in someone outside of ourselves. In her case, me, and in my case God. We pray not to repeat the exact same mistakes time and time again, but to learn from them and move forward. To have discussions instead of fights. To increase our Joy in the Chaos.