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being agreeable - my "Marriage" New Years Resolution

January 9, 2019

On Saturday morning, I woke up with a BIG day planned!  A long To-do list that I needed Mike to help me accomplish, and I wanted to drive into Savannah when we were finished for a ton of fun!  I am addicted to the charming little city, about 30 minutes away.


At some point in the early morning, Mike remembered that he'd told a friend that we could have lunch with him and his family.  He's not big on "details" like "when" and "where."   I still had several things on my list when he said something about meeting them at 11:30am.  He could tell from my face that that wasn't going to really allow us time to get everything accomplished, and he said, "I'll just reschedule with them for another day."


And then that familiar voice, the Holy Spirit nudging me, saying, forget your plans and just GO.  So I said to him, "If you made plans, let's stick with them.  Ask them when and where, and let's make it happen.  


Sounds so EASY! So..."NORMAL"....right?  I'm getting there, but there is a part of me that can be easily annoyed at him for not getting details worked out in advance.  Not asking other people questions.  Assuming things.  Mike is very go- with- the- flow....which is an AMAZING trait to have, until it interrupts "MY" flow.  Then I can ask a million questions and be so annoyed that he doesn't have all the details figured out or wanting to change plans at the last minute.  It doesn't take much work to turn a fun and easy event into a complicated one.  


I am learning....Go with the flow.  Make life easier for HIM.  Make life easier for ME.  Make life more ENJOYABLE for our Kids simply by being AGREEABLE.  Not asking for all the details.  Being flexible.  Bendable.  Full of GRACE.  


We quickly got done the things that I had to have his help with, and then made our way into Savannah.  And guess what?!?!


We had the BEST DAY EVER! EVER! 


The sun came out.  It warmed up.  We had lunch at the cutest little 50's Restaurant.  The waitress was dressed in 50's attire, 50s Music filled the air. It was like going back in time.   The kids had a ball playing on the playgrounds in Forsyth Park.  I got some of the sweetest pictures of them playing, which I always love!  I watched Lilly, our oldest, introduce our sweet new puppy Daisy to so many strangers, which was an unexpected answer to a lifetime of prayers that I have prayed for her.  We enjoyed the fountain, saw some of the coolest dogs, and found a purple house that we've been trying to hunt down forever.  We enjoyed the company of new friends that we love spending time with.  


All day it was as if God were saying, "See! See! Look at what I can do for you when You choose to put other people first.  When you choose to follow the second greatest commandment, Love your neighbor (Spouse) as yourself, you will be blessed.  You will be full of JOY.   See that sunshine!  See the beauty of the parks, the spanish moss hanging from the trees, the people, the playgrounds, houses, everything around you. All of it.  It was a nearly perfect day, all because of a decision to surrender my OWN WILL for the sake of someone else. 




That's what you get when you surrender.  God will fill you with so much JOY when you follow HIS plan to LOVE other people well.  My ONLY shot at ever feeling content, peaceful, patient, Joyful, calm is when I am obedient to God's will for my life, being selfless instead of selfish, and demanding my own way.


If you've been reading for long, you know that was me.  All that time wasted, me not being happy, and certainly not making Mike's life any easier by always wishing to turn the other way.  My way.  My will. My plans.  I'm no "unicorn" for this.  I'm pretty sure all of us, okay, maybe most of us were born this way.  Selfish.  Self-centered. Wanting what we want, when we want it and are never truly fulfilled or happy, always in turmoil, stuck between should I go "your" way or "my" way?!??!?  


Sometimes, go the other way.  Make someone else's life easier for a minute, and then pay close attention to what happens.  My experience is that when I try to please myself, I rarely get to the finish line.  The spot where HAPPY lives.  There's always, always, always another "Thing" and THEN I'll be happy.  If I'm getting my house cleaned, I feel guilty that I should be doing something with my kids and vise versa. The to-do list never gets wrapped up when you have a family. EVER!  So maybe your house is in order and your car is clean, but you feel like a slob yourself. See what I mean???  Maybe it's just because I'm a young-ish momma, but getting everything "DONE" so that I can be happy feels impossible.  


But what I can do, is be filled with JOY for loving and serving others well.  That is fulfilling.  That is rewarding.  That brings me Peace.  Calmness.  When I get out of my own head and try to be a blessing to others, I "ARRIVE" so to speak.  I am fulfilled.  


That's my 2019 resolution.  To be agreeable as much as I can.  As often as I can.  To be selfless, when I can.  Especially, with Mike.  When Mike and I are good -  loving, peaceful, happy, we provide our kids with a priceless gift of security, peace, and comfort.   


Being  more agreeable. That's my resolution.  My 2019 goal. It'll take me less than 24 hours from now to be CHALLENGED by this. AHHHHHH!  I just know it! But, I know that it will give me more Joy in the Chaos.     




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