"You guys look like you've settled in so nicely!"
"It looks like you guys are doing amazing!"
Ha! Ha! That's facebook and instagram for ya! Everything looks so rosy in those worlds. Now I'm not saying that I lie on there, I'm just saying that for obvious reason, everything doesn't get broadcasted.
This week I shared some photos of new friends that I've made and treasure in Georgia. But they almost didn't happen. You see, in Kentucky, we could walk to preschool. It was right outside my front door. When we moved here, all the preschools near me were full. So I got on the wait listed and waited and waited and waited for something close to open up.
Thankfully Ella persisted in begging for preschool and I finally accepted my reality that if she was going to go to school, I'd have to commit a big chunk of my day to driving her there and back. Did I want to? No! Heck No! Who wants to spend an hour of their day in the car? Actually I spend a lot more than an hour a day in my car! I basically live in my mini-van hauling kids around. But that was my new reality and had to choose, accept it or not.
Anywho, I am here to say that I was stubborn and really resisted that change for months. And I was stuck at home everyday, not too happy about it.
Don't do that!
If you are going through change...moving away to college, moving to a new town, having a new baby, retiring, sending a kid off to college; whatever your change is...give yourself time to grieve, to adjust, to miss whoever, whatever it is that you miss, but then say....
Okay God. This is where I am. This is where I have landed. Help me to be a blessing here. Help me live my life to the fullest. Help me find people that I can enjoy life with. Help me to treasure my past while embracing where I am today. Help me make decisions that will Honor you and help me to be a light where I am right now.
And He will.
When I finally got over my grief about not having a preschool convenient to me, and enrolled Ella in a school on the other side of town, I met a group of group of friends that I have coffee or brunch with each week and I adore them! I started volunteering with another preschool mom, who happens to be an army wife, and she's taught me how to embrace change. To love my husband and kids like crazy no matter where we live, or how far I have to drive. I've learned that going to Kroger without 4 kids is pretty dang AWESOME!!!! I've got to watch Miss Ella blossom. She's made friends. She's learned to write her name and to be without her momma for a few hours. I've made friends with their mommas. I'm not sitting at home missing all that I left behind. I'm finally embracing my reality and loving my new life.
Find someone who is either in your shoes or has been in your shoes. Talk about the lows. Talk about the highs. Chances are, some people will not get you. Don't expect everyone to get you and how you feel. It's really hard to walk in someone else's shoes unless you've... well walked in their shoes. Find people who can empathize with you and share with them.
You know I'm not a fan of stuffing down emotions.
My little 3rd grade Carly has been what we call "dating" new friends all year. She's been through all kinds of girlfriends to find people that she jives with. We have had countless talk about how to find friends, when to persist and when to move on. That girl has a heart of gold and is good as can be, but she knows what she wants in a friendship and she has been very persistent to find what she's looking for. Man, I hope she's just as picky at finding a husband! Ha! My point is, be like Carly! Don't settle. Don't give up! Keep looking until you find people that you can do life with, that lift you up, that are easy to love, wherever you are, whatever stage of life you are in. God wouldn't have created a billion people for us to do life alone! But, you really do need to find someone who is "your cup of tea!" I promise, they are out there!
Most of our life happens in our thinking. Sometimes a slight shift in mindset can bring an abundance of happiness and JOY that you've been missing. I believe we are where we are for a reason. God is always trying to teach us something. To grow us to be a better versions of ourself. When I shifted my thinking from, How can *I* be happy? to How can I be a blessing to others? my Joy increased. When I accepted my reality of where I was at and made the most of it, my Joy increased. Your circumstances may not change, but you can absolutely change the way you see your circumstances to find WAY more JOY in your Life!