School is back in session here in Georgia. I am equal parts thrilled and sad. I love the routine and structure that school provides. I love seeing my babies at the end of their school day. I love hearing all of their stories. I love the earlier bedtime. New goals. New shoes. New crayons. You know, it's kinda exciting!
I also mourn another year gone by. Why do they have to get big so fast? Them getting bigger means I am getting OLDER, and dang it! I didn't realize I'd be "Older" so fast!
Anywho, I had a moment of weakness this week. Maybe a little panic. We've all been there. You get the teacher phone calls. You stalk them on facebook or the yearbook. You ask your friends about them. (Don't even pretend like you don't! In my opinion, it's good momma-bearing in 2019!) You are either incredibly relieved and thrilled or maybe you're a little worried. You prayed like crazy. You trust that God loves your babies more than you love your babies, but is this right?!?!?
I had a moment of "I'm not quite sure that this is right" this week.
I sent a text to a teacher-friend and then we talked on the phone and then I felt.....ummmm .....Ridiculous. SHOOT! Rhonda! What are you doing? Why are you so worried. Why are you so vulnerable. Do you really need to share with others how weak you can be on the inside??? What if she thinks I'm crazy?!?! Too worried about nothing. What if she now thinks this or that about me?!?!?
So, I sent another text...
"I am so sorry. I'm so Embarrassed."
I hate that get so worked up about these babies. But they are my babies. NO ONE....NO ONE else can or will Momma them like me. No one else on earth is worried over what teachers my kiddos got or what classes they are in but me. Honestly, not even Mike. He mostly trusts the systems. He's okay if they struggle. He prefers they struggle a little. He wants them ready for the "real world." While I know he is right, I honestly kinda want to bubble wrap them and give them a perfect little life. Which I know would be a huge disservice to them in the long run.
Anyways, I got the sweetest, most gracious response from my friend. She didn't just say, "It's okay Rhonda. No big deal."
She said, "Me, too. I'm worried about my kiddos and their placements a little too."
And it swept away my guilt. Embarrassment. Stress. Worry. Her simple, "Me, too" made me feel okay about my feelings.
That's what I love. I love when occasionally Mike will say, "Yeah, Me, too!" There is so much comfort in those words when you are struggling.
So much comfort in not feeling alone.
That's what I adore most about this teacher/friend. I keep going back to her for friendship and help because she gets me. She's humble enough to say, "Me, too." She puts herself in my shoes. And admits that she struggles. She offers grace and she says, "You are not alone in that sister. You are not alone."
I think as friends, sisters, spouses, neighbors, humans, some times the best thing that we can offer each other is a simple "me, too." It takes HUMILITY to say....yeah, I struggle with that too. It takes COMPASSION. It takes TIME. It takes some REFLECTION on our own struggles.
Pity usually makes us feel worse. Writing someone's feelings off or minimizing them doesn't help a thing. But "me, too" says I get you. I understand you. I've been there. Maybe not EXACTLY there, but somewhere close, and together, we will get through.
Together, in all of our human-ness, we will survive and thrive and learn and grow and pray and rise up from this little or big challenge. Together, in humility and compassion, we will have more Joy in the Chaos.
The Bible says it best in Romans, 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn."
In other words, get on each other's level. Put yourself in their shoes. Be relatable. Understanding. Love like you want to be loved. Try to relate to others sadness, happiness, excitement, frustration, fear, worry, pain, success. Think of a time in your life where you can say, I understand your feelings or your situation... Me, too.